Mommy Dating

By Allison H.

In the spring when L was 15 months old, we moved to the Pioneer Valley. Knowing nobody, I began my adventures in mommy-dating. I hated mommy-dating but it had to be done. Without a job to go to, I had no other way of meeting new people. If you’ve never had to mommy-date, consider yourself lucky.

Mommy-dating is just like real-dating, except the scene unfolds at the playground, (or supermarket, library, museum etc,) instead of a bar. I paid a little more attention to my own appearance, and L’s, making sure we were both at least mostly clean. I’d scan the park for “attractive” moms. What makes a potential mom-friend attractive? Her kid needs to be approximately the same age as L. No matter how cool a mom of a 6 month old seems, there’s no way she’d want a playdate with my wild toddler. She needs to look kind of like me – I’m not going to be bffs with a fancy mom. So, with my sights set on new mom friends, I hit the “singles” scene.

Notes from the Diaper Bag

By Christina Marie Bailey

I bet you a million dollars, that if you pulled any seasoned mother off the street and asked her about her worst memories of parenting (not counting labor and delivery, of course), her first stomach bug makes the list, and probably even the top ten. I distinctly remember mine. I will spare you the details, I’m sure you know what I am getting at. It’s the kind of bug you just can’t squish. For those of you who are not mothers, close your eyes and picture the last time you battled this particular germ. Think hard. Remember all those surprise attacks, all the torture, and the combat that seemed like it would never end. Do you have a good picture yet? Great, now insert a screaming baby in your arms, or (or in some cases, and) a toddler tugging at you pajamas as you worship the porcelain god. Only one thing can make this situation worse, (you don’t need a vivid imagination to know what I am talking about). 

Honoring Mama Power

Support members of our communities to participate in the US Social Forum 2010 in Detroit!  Join local mamas artist/poets and performers in celebrating Motherhood!  Spend the evening rejuvenating and rejoicing in the power of our intergenerational voices! 

Thursday 5/20 7-9pm
Food for Thought Books, Amherst
$25-5 Sliding Scale (no one turned away for lack of funds)

Poets Diana Alvarez & Tory Rosen (Warriors Toolkit: Harnessing the Power and Potency of Transformative Language) will share their gift of voice with us. Local organizations Mothers of Color Awareness Initiative’s Marissa Pizii will MC the night and share inspirational wisdom. The Prison Birth Project will share participatory documentation created behind the wall and members will share stories and experiences. We will also have an open mic session for folks to share written or composed pieces as well as share their favorite mama story!! Learn how you can get involved and support mamas in the community to create a vision for a better world .

Free raffle ticket with entry!

Win fabulous prizes to take care of yourself and your family! (massages, hot tubs, basket from cradle, motherherb products) 

Leave the kids at home or bring the whole family. Help get local families to the United States Social Forum and connect with other local moms!

The US Social Forum provides a space to build relationships, learn from each other’s experiences, and share analysis of the problems our communities face. It helps develop leadership, vision, and strategy needed to realize another world.

 

Who’s That Lady With My Kids?

By Allison H.

I rarely put a lot of effort into how I look.  This isn’t because I don’t have time due to being so selflessly devoted to my kids, rather, it’s because I don’t want it to look like I put in a lot of effort, and this is the end result.  Instead, I look pretty crappy on a daily basis and am perpetuating all sorts of negative stereotypes of how moms look.  This is not how I ever envisioned myself.

I look back at pictures from my 20′s. I remember being critical of myself at the time. My hair wasn’t right, I had an errant zit, I looked too fat, etc. I remember thinking particular photos were terribly unflattering. I look at those same photos now and think, “Damn, I was cute!” Back then I did put in the effort, and it showed. I had cute haircuts, cute clothes, fantastic shoes. What the hell was my problem with any of it? I looked great!

Notes from the Diaper Bag

By Christina Marie Bailey

I have discovered something valuable about being a mom. As with any job, (and yes, mothering is the longest standing, most mentally and physically demanding, and least appreciated job in the history of man or, more importantly, womankind, and in my opinion, the most rewarding job too.)  she must take the good and the not so good that seem to be inherent in the act of motherhood. The use of guilt has been a long standing and widely accepted perk reserved for mothers. Ben’s too small to use the c-section scar on right now, but I figure I may eventually get a car wash and some laundry done using it.

Of course, there are the moments that make you feel like your heart is being ripped out. They all involve the double edged sword that is independence. Don’t get me wrong, I can’t speak for all mothers, but I can say for me, that I want my son to be his own person, learn to do things for himself, and make good decisions, but I also know that for that to happen, I need to stand back and let him make his mistakes, pick himself up when he falls (and bite my lip to keep from laughing while delivering the obligatory “I told you so.”)

The Postpartum A & B.

Tamara Bowman, a MotherWoman participant, talks candidly and with humor about her experience during her postpartum period in her blog:

“What I’m here to talk about today is postpartum depression. The kicker is that I have never experienced postpartum depression, at least not for any length of time. However I did experience something I imagine very few mothers are exempt from – postpartum anxiety and blues (A & B).”

Alternative Treatments for Postpartum Emotional Complications

There have been several important studies in the last couple of years that have made it clear that there are many ways to support mothers who are having a difficult postpartum emotional experience.  Check out Katherine Stone’s excellent blogpost on recommended alternative treatments for postpartum emotional complications.  

 

Mother’s are worth a million. You and the mothers in your life in particular! Tell us the details.

It’s almost Mother’s Day and what better way to give ourself or the mother’s in our life a gift than to acknowledge the ways that we all are worth a million.  You know you are.  You know what you do every day for your children. And because we’re moms now, we understand in a whole new way what the mothers of our lives did for us.  Tell us about it.  

What’s the thing you never thought you could do, but you did, because after all, you are their mom and you had to?  Tell us the story about you.  Tell us the story about the mom in your life who made the difference to you.  

And have a wonderful mother’s day from all of us at MotherWoman!

 

Legislature Gives Mothers’ Day Gift to MA Moms

For Immediate Release                                                               Contact:         Brad Dye
May 7^th, 2010                                                                                                       brad.bye@state.ma.us
                                                                                                                              (617) 722-2012

Legislature Gives Mothers’ Day Gift to MA Moms
Committee gives favorable report, bill moves to Health Care Finance

BOSTON – The Massachusetts Joint Committee on Financial Services gave a favorable report to the Postpartum Depression bill today, two days before Mothers’ Day.  House Bill 3897, An Act Relative to Postpartum Depression, was recommended to be studied in March before being discharged back to Financial Services on May 6^th.
      “Chairman Peter Koutoujian and the Committee on Financial Services heard from the country’s top experts and from families who have experienced this first-hand, and they acted,” said lead sponsor Representative Ellen Story (D-Amherst), a mother of two and grandmother of one. “This bill is a small but important step in the right direction, because every step forward this bill takes raises awareness and provides hope for families coping with Postpartum Depression.  What better gift could we get for Mothers’ Day than this?”       The bill was revised subsequent to its January 27, 2010 public hearing.  It calls for a legislative task force charged with reviewing practices and resources currently in use in Massachusetts, providing guidance to the Governor and other authorities on national research and best practices in postpartum depression treatment, and holding hearings and meetings to come to recommendations on future policy.
      The new draft of the bill also contains recommendations for the Department of Public Health to adopt Postpartum Depression as a public health priority and asks health insurance providers to report on their activities with respect to PPD.
      Citing Postpartum Depression as a “real public health concern,” Dr. Daniel Shaw, M.D., Perinatal Psychiatrist at the High-Risk Obstetrics Center at Boston Medical Center, said, “Postpartum Depression is a preventable disorder.  It has a profound negative effect, often leading to anger, low-tolerance and fear of harming the baby.  The impact on the child is also problematic, because the presence of depression in the mother significantly increases the risk of developmental delays, anxiety and mood disorders, and attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).”
      A top priority for Story, H 3897 has been cited as a beacon of hope across the state for those who have experienced Postpartum Depression.
      Kate Weldon-Leblanc, an Administrative Director at the Center at Jewish Family & Children’s Service, experienced Postpartum Depression that went undiagnosed by several of her doctors.  “When Postpartum Depression goes undiagnosed and untreated, the mother, and her family, suffers unnecessarily and silently, sometimes with tragic results,” said Weldon-Leblanc.  “We know we can and must do better – moving this bill forward is a wonderful Mother’s Day present to all mothers in Massachusetts.”
      The bill now moves to the Joint Committee on Health Care Financing for review of its potential economic impacts.  “This is a no-cost bill which will provide empowerment and hope to women and families across the Commonwealth,” said Story.
                                                                                    ###

Rep. Ellen Story (D-Amherst) is the state representative for the 3^rd Hampshire District, which consists of Amherst and Granby.  Serving since 1992, Rep. Story is the 4^th Division Chair of the House of Representatives.  She is Co-Chairwoman of the Mental Health Caucus, and a past chair of the Caucus of Women Legislators.  She was the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill of Massachusetts (NAMI-Mass) Legislator of the Year of 2009.

Opportunity to Participate in Research on Access to Education for Mothers

Participate in research focusing on educational opportunities for women with children thru one-on-one interviews, focus groups and individual surveys.  Each participant will be entered to win 1 of 2 $50 Visa Gift Cards for their much appreciated time.  Contact Kassandra Petr at 940-395-9279 or kasi_seth@yahoo.com.  Kassandra Petr is a graduate student at the School for International Training.