Okay, what’s next?

29 Oct

My youngest child goes to Kindergarten next year. I’m excited. I think about it everyday. I hear other mother talk with longing in their voices. Can you believe they grow up so fast? I just want them to stay little. I try to make the appropriate noises, but I can’t access the feelings. I’m happy. I wonder briefly if there is something wrong with me and brush away the thought. 

Recently, I’ve noticed some changes in our habits: we’ve been on time to school, swim lessons, and meetings. Head colds do not lay waste to our family for weeks. I’ve noticed myself being pleasantly amused by other people’s two year old cherubs – instead of overwhelmed by my own. The boys are relatively easy to hand off to people, so going to work is a breeze.

I’m not sure I recognize myself, this new self, the mother of school-aged children. I need a wardrobe change. A piece of me says, quick, have one more baby! I don’t know how to function like this. Maybe I am setting my expectations to high. Maybe I don’t know what’s next. Maybe that will be okay, even though I’m squirming inside.

Among my most pressing concerns, is when I don’t have pictures like this to post on my blog, what will I write about?

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8 Responses to “Okay, what’s next?”

  1. slouchy October 29, 2010 at 12:52 pm #

    LOL. It IS tricky, to write about parenting when the kids are older. Not only because there aren’t as many funny stories, but because privacy issues arise.

    Those early school-age years are the best. Enjoy them before you find yourself mother to a teenager — like me!

    • Karen October 31, 2010 at 12:31 pm #

      Slouchy I am glad I have you, your words and your writing to look to when I’m feeling unsure of my course. We each navigate on our own, but is a comfort to see other ships sailing so well.

  2. Heather October 29, 2010 at 6:06 pm #

    I have the same reaction when moms get teary eyed about their little ones growing up…I understand in theory, but I really don’t know what to say. Seeing them grow up makes me happy and makes me relieved.

    • Karen October 31, 2010 at 12:31 pm #

      Oh, you brave mama. I didn’t use the word relieved, but I was feeling it.

  3. Jenni October 29, 2010 at 11:51 pm #

    I was thinking about a similar thing today, as we took a walk in the woods. Lilly is able to stroll alongside us and take part in somewhat normal adult conversation. This is not an everyday thing, but something she is growing into. It is hugely pleasurable and comes with its own set of stories to tell. This will happen with your boys too, I am sure. It is totally fun and cute – just a really different kind of fun and cute. I don’t have any cute photos of her curled up on a pillow, but I do have awesome ones of her finishing her first 5k. Good stuff, but a different good.

    • Karen October 31, 2010 at 12:33 pm #

      Girls who run 5Ks totally rock!

  4. Nynke van der Burg November 3, 2010 at 10:30 pm #

    Yes, I can relate!!! I love love love my new freedom! Isn’t it great so see them grow up.. it seems to happen so suddenly.. and it takes some getting used to..but it is fascinating and interesting to get to know my boys this way.. I am so proud of them!!

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  1. What’s next? « Needs New Batteries - October 29, 2010

    [...] Look for me over here at MotherWoman. [...]

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