MotherWoman Group Discussion: When they hang all over us.

By Liz Friedman

We are going to start putting up conversations from our MotherWoman groups on our blog so that we can continue them on line.  Here’s the first.  Let me know what you think.

In a recent MotherWoman group we began our conversation focused on our relationship to our bodies, to the ongoing “lookism” (obsession with looking like young beautiful women that we are surrounded by all the time in our culture) and how that impacts us individually.  Of course, this went in many many directions, from our relationships to health, our bodies, our sexuality, to our relationships with our sons and daughters and gender stereotypes and the limitations that are experienced.  There were true confessions and real frustrations expressed, as always.

Mothers in the eye of the storm

I see a lot of mothers in my work and I am constantly amazed and humbled by how much we feel and do and hold. Just this week I met a mother with a two week old baby, spent time with my own 80 year old mother, spoke to a postpartum mother suffering from bi-polar disorder, and comforted a mother who is grieving the tragic loss of a child. I myself will be joining the caravan of teary parents dropping their first child at college at the end of the month.

Tags: Family, Mental health, Mother, Parenting

On being a mama when it’s hot

I live in New England where it gets hot, like real hot, for just maybe two weeks of the year.  I didn’t have an air conditioner in my home till I was in college, and sharing an apt and I really didn’t use one all the time till I was pregnant with Kai.

Tags: Air conditioning, Laundry, Mothering, New England

Sorry, Nana (A Self-Pitying Diatribe)

By Allison H.

I’ve been living under a microscope. Or at least that’s what it feels like. For a short-term house guest, it’s possible to present a version of your self, home and family that is close to the real deal, but a little nicer. But for a long-term house guest, namely a 3-week mother-in-law visit, the pretense falters after a few days and suddenly the real thing is exposed to an outsider.

Mommy Dating

By Allison H.

In the spring when L was 15 months old, we to the Pioneer Valley. Knowing nobody, I began my adventures in mommy-dating. I hated mommy-dating but it had to be done. Without a job to go to, I had no other way of meeting new people. If you’ve never had to mommy-date, consider yourself lucky. 

Big Boy

By Alison H.

There is so much about being a parent that you couldn’t possibly guess at until you’re there (and then it’s too late). There’s the big stuff: how in love you can be with a baby, how endearing it is when your toddler says he loves you, how fun it is to see your partner’s traits coming through in your kids…. But there’s also so many small things every day that take you by surprise. Like the time I wanted to beat up a group of 5-year-old girls. I never would have thought that I could be so angry at such little kids, that I could really think they were mean, horrible little people. But I did.

Mommy Dating

By Allison H.

In the spring when L was 15 months old, we moved to the Pioneer Valley. Knowing nobody, I began my adventures in mommy-dating. I hated mommy-dating but it had to be done. Without a job to go to, I had no other way of meeting new people. If you’ve never had to mommy-date, consider yourself lucky.

Mommy-dating is just like real-dating, except the scene unfolds at the playground, (or supermarket, library, museum etc,) instead of a bar. I paid a little more attention to my own appearance, and L’s, making sure we were both at least mostly clean. I’d scan the park for “attractive” moms. What makes a potential mom-friend attractive? Her kid needs to be approximately the same age as L. No matter how cool a mom of a 6 month old seems, there’s no way she’d want a playdate with my wild toddler. She needs to look kind of like me – I’m not going to be bffs with a fancy mom. So, with my sights set on new mom friends, I hit the “singles” scene.

Notes from the Diaper Bag

By Christina Marie Bailey

I bet you a million dollars, that if you pulled any seasoned mother off the street and asked her about her worst memories of parenting (not counting labor and delivery, of course), her first stomach bug makes the list, and probably even the top ten. I distinctly remember mine. I will spare you the details, I’m sure you know what I am getting at. It’s the kind of bug you just can’t squish. For those of you who are not mothers, close your eyes and picture the last time you battled this particular germ. Think hard. Remember all those surprise attacks, all the torture, and the combat that seemed like it would never end. Do you have a good picture yet? Great, now insert a screaming baby in your arms, or (or in some cases, and) a toddler tugging at you pajamas as you worship the porcelain god. Only one thing can make this situation worse, (you don’t need a vivid imagination to know what I am talking about). 

Honoring Mama Power

Support members of our communities to participate in the US Social Forum 2010 in Detroit!  Join local mamas artist/poets and performers in celebrating Motherhood!  Spend the evening rejuvenating and rejoicing in the power of our intergenerational voices! 

Thursday 5/20 7-9pm
Food for Thought Books, Amherst
$25-5 Sliding Scale (no one turned away for lack of funds)

Poets Diana Alvarez & Tory Rosen (Warriors Toolkit: Harnessing the Power and Potency of Transformative Language) will share their gift of voice with us. Local organizations Mothers of Color Awareness Initiative’s Marissa Pizii will MC the night and share inspirational wisdom. The Prison Birth Project will share participatory documentation created behind the wall and members will share stories and experiences. We will also have an open mic session for folks to share written or composed pieces as well as share their favorite mama story!! Learn how you can get involved and support mamas in the community to create a vision for a better world .

Free raffle ticket with entry!

Win fabulous prizes to take care of yourself and your family! (massages, hot tubs, basket from cradle, motherherb products) 

Leave the kids at home or bring the whole family. Help get local families to the United States Social Forum and connect with other local moms!

The US Social Forum provides a space to build relationships, learn from each other’s experiences, and share analysis of the problems our communities face. It helps develop leadership, vision, and strategy needed to realize another world.

 

Who’s That Lady With My Kids?

By Allison H.

I rarely put a lot of effort into how I look.  This isn’t because I don’t have time due to being so selflessly devoted to my kids, rather, it’s because I don’t want it to look like I put in a lot of effort, and this is the end result.  Instead, I look pretty crappy on a daily basis and am perpetuating all sorts of negative stereotypes of how moms look.  This is not how I ever envisioned myself.

I look back at pictures from my 20′s. I remember being critical of myself at the time. My hair wasn’t right, I had an errant zit, I looked too fat, etc. I remember thinking particular photos were terribly unflattering. I look at those same photos now and think, “Damn, I was cute!” Back then I did put in the effort, and it showed. I had cute haircuts, cute clothes, fantastic shoes. What the hell was my problem with any of it? I looked great!